Reverse Culture Shock Can Be Shocking

When I moved back from spending 2 and a half years living in China, my mom took me to the grocery store to grab some things I had been craving.  I wandered to the yogurt section, and stood there in awe of the vast number of choices facing me, and I promptly burst into tears.  Out of all of those choices, they didn’t have the kind of yogurt I wanted – the kind that I had in China.

This may seem trivial (and, yes, it is a bit funny), but that was a small manifestation of the overwhelming feelings I was experiencing being back in the US.  A lot of people talk about the stages of culture shock and acculturation when going/living abroad, but the return can be full of just as many ups and downs.

Here are some of my personal tips for dealing with reverse culture shock upon re-entry to your home culture:

• Recognize that there will be an adjustment period – you are not simply injecting yourself back into your “old” life.  While you were away, life kept going, and some things may have changed.

• Be selective when telling stories about your experience abroad.  People will be interested and ask you about it, so find ways to tell brief stories here and there, without dominating every conversation with “When I was in…”

• Catch up with those around you.  Take interest in their lives and what’s been happening since you’ve been gone.  It may seem like you’ve grown apart from some of your friends, but that’s mostly due to lack of shared experiences.  Mutual conversation and active interest go a long way in helping you reconnect.

• Journal – just as journaling can be a powerful tool while you are abroad, it can also be an effective tool to deal with re-entry adjustments.  Along with writing in a journal, simply re-reading entries from your experiences can help keep you connected to the culture you have recently left.

• If possible, find a way to volunteer or get involved with community members from wherever you spent time. 

• Put together a slide show or video about your time away that you can share on social media or even at a welcome home party.  If you select highlights carefully and narrate it succinctly, this can be a great way to help your friends and family have a frame of reference for what you saw and felt.  Go one step further and cook foods from the places you were and invite people for food and stories.

• Find others who have lived abroad or traveled extensively.  People with common experiences can be a great network!  Besides, anyone who travels loves to tell their own stories, and you will find that fellow travelers understand the need to share.

• Finally, be kind to yourself and remember that it will take time.  You very likely did change while you were away, but that only enhances the person you were before you left.  

The Top 3 Life Lessons I Learned from My First Backpacking Trip

My parents lived in Malaysia while I was in college, and after graduation, I stayed with them for about six months.  A couple of American and Australian friends, Cathy and Ray, invited me to join them on a backpacking trip they were planning in Thailand.  I only had a few weeks left in Malaysia, so I decided to do an abbreviated version of the trip to get my feet wet and see if I enjoyed the backpacking way of travel.  I found that I very much enjoyed backpacking, but I also had a lot to learn!

Cathy and Ray

·        Don’t fall asleep on the ferry

After a couple of weeks of the 3 of us traveling together, the day came when we were to go our separate ways. I had been having a blast – Ray and Cathy had taken care of me, and although I was sad to get on the ferry alone, I was ready to take on this challenge.  My plan was to find some other foreigners on the ferry from Phi Phi to Phuket (a 2-hour ride), figure out the good places to stay and how to get to the city center, and go from there – hopefully meeting up with my new friends for a beer after I got settled.  Unfortunately, after all of the fun Cathy, Ray, and I had been having, I promptly fell asleep on the ferry.  When I awoke a couple of hours later, we were at port.  On which side of Phuket I had NO idea; I had not met a single foreigner on the ferry; I had no map; I had no place to stay; I did not see a bus station; and at this point, it should go without saying, but I didn’t speak a word of Thai.

Lesson Learned:  Networking is critical to survival in this world, and in order to maximize your network, you actually need to MEET people.  Sleeping on the ferry will leave you high and dry.

"I guess I'm in Phuket..."

·        Know when $14 is a bargain

So I jumped in the back of a small pickup truck with some other foreigners heading to Phuket town.  They weren’t sure where they were staying, so that didn’t help me a lot.  After arriving at the little bus station in town, I jumped on a bus that had a route along the coast in an area with small hotels and huts near the beach.  I was feeling pretty good about myself, and things were looking up.  So I got off after I saw a couple of hotels pop up, and I went to inquire about a room.  Keep in mind that I had been paying less than USD$5/night on the small islands of Koh Phi Phi and Koh Lanta, so when I heard the initial price of $14 for a room for the night, I wasn’t worried – they were just used to bargaining with more tourists.  But there was no bargaining.  That was a firm price, and he laughed at me when I told him I was going to find something a little less spendy.  There was a reason he laughed.  The per night prices just kept getting more and more expensive as I found my way up the road, and I finally ended up back at that same small place, feeling a bit ashamed as I asked if there was still a room for the night…

Lesson Learned:  A certain amount of research can aid in trusting others.  If I had any inkling that the prices were higher on Phuket Island than the other islands, I would have trusted the gentleman instead of assuming he was trying to rip me off.  We all know what happens when we ASS-U-ME too much.

One of our $5/night huts

·       Watch out for drivers named “Lucky”

After I got my bearings, purchased a map of Phuket, and laid out a plan (see, I’m already learning lessons!), I went about finding a driver to take me to my most desired location – the Gibbon Rehabilitation Project.  I met a man who called himself Lucky, in honor of Lucky Strikes, and I genuinely liked and trusted him after we talked for a while, so we worked out details for a trip the next day.  As we set off, with me in the back of the tuk tuk truck, he made a stop and picked up another man who got in front.  I remembered being told to never travel with more than one local for safety reasons, but I was too timid to speak up – I liked Lucky and had a good feeling about him, so I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.  Luckily (pun intended), there were no problems, and the trip was great – probably one of the most impressive projects I’ve ever seen in Thailand.  I did, however, mention this to him after the trip was over, and he apologized if I had felt nervous, but he reaffirmed it is smart to be cautious in situations like that, and that I should have spoken up.

Lesson Learned:  When unsure about something, speak up.  Make sure you are communicating from a point of genuine information-seeking as opposed to judgement, but it is important to honor your trepidation to avoid miscommunication or unnecessary risk.

Lucky and me after the Gibbon Rehabilitation Center

Culture at Work

When thinking about my international experiences abroad – whether it be living, working, or exploring – I realize that I have had some amazing learning moments, as well as some funny stories to share.  After a seminar from Jen Reeves and conversation with my amazing executive coach, Emily Schmidt, I have decided to put some of my words out there in cyberspace to see what happens.  Maybe you’ll learn, maybe you’ll laugh, or maybe you will comment and teach me something new. 

As I was drifting off to bed last night, I suddenly realized that “Culture at Work” was exactly how I want to describe these posts.  Many of my wisdoms have come through work situations, either in the US working with international students and scholars, or from when I lived and worked in China as an English teacher.  Culture touches each one of us in different degrees, but from the foods we eat to the jokes we tell to the friends we have, culture is all around us.  For me, culture really IS at work; I work in a university department that provides professional and academic training to Asian students and scholars, and our staff is approximately half Asian and half American.  But for each one of us, culture is at work in our lives whether we always know it or not.